Changes

So, I think I got it all figured out.

But every time I start to tell folks my plans, I get that subtle sideways look that I recognize oh-so-well.  Comes with being a snarky girl.  That looks says "Yeah, have fun with that.  See you back in this exact place next year"

I'm getting kind of scared.  

OK, yes, I am planning on moving out of state with my new boyfriend.  Yes, it is exactly the sort of thing I mock when I hear other people are doing.  But I gotta go before I get stuck here for the rest of my life.

We're not moving until April.  Half of me is scared how soon that is.  The other half is scared how far away that is.

BTW - he passed the parent test and all my friends who have met him like him.  

Maybe I just need to bury my head in the sand and push through the next 6 months.

I know, I know

I disappeared.

I met someone.

So the blog got neglected.

Don't even know how to describe in words.  

He makes me happier than I can remember.

And he asks nothing from me but the ability to keep doing it.

He snuck in when I was really not looking for anyone.

Like a date ninja.

But he has swept me off my feet.  Completely.

I'm going to stop right now, because I don't really want to put any more down right now.  I feel like I am going to jinx it.

OK, one more tidbit : James.

One of those times you wish you had a man around

Just got out of a nice relaxing post-work shower to find a FUCKING HUGE SPIDER right next the the door of the bathroom.

I have never ever been okay with spiders.  Not even a little bit.  Not the ones in the cages at the pet store, not in pictures, not on TV, not even terribly fond of Charlotte and her Web.

It's been a bad summer for spiders.  I was in my friend's bathroom, doing my business and one crawled over my leg to say what's up - I responded with girlish screams and its immanent death.  I had one attach itself to my glasses which caused me to hurl them across the room with a force I would have thought twice about if I had realized it was attached to my glasses.  And last weekend I was taking a nap and rubbed an itch on my face - only to pull away a mangled corpse of a good sized spider, which has left me squeemish about the feeling of bugs in my sinuses for a couple days.

This doesn't seem to happen to other people.  It's like folks who are allergic to cats - they know, and will follow that person around mercilessly.

So folks who see me later today, I'm not usually this crazy looking.  I had to blow dry my hair in my living room with no mirror ... because of the spider.

Okay

Maybe a little crazy.

Thought for the day

Not really a proper post - promise one soon. Just a quote from a wonderful show called "Dead Like Me" that is resonating with me right now

"Five reasons men are scum and women let us get away with it.

One: we only want one thing. No exceptions.

Two: we fall in love with you before we can have that thing and then fall back out once we've had it, whereas women conversely fall in love afterwards.

Three: we will lie, cheat, steal or murder in order to get that thing... why am I sugarcoating this, you're a big girl... in order to fuck you.

Four: we freely admit the numbers one, two, three, and women don't care.

And the number five reason why men are scum and women let us get away with it: you can't live without us."

There ya have it - good times ...

I have never ever ....

been this tired in my whole life.

Okay, possible exaggeration.  But seriously, this ranks up there.

Deeply embroiled in tech week/opening weekend for "The Odd Couple" down at Cyrano's.

Promise I will be back for blog updates

If I survive this weekend.

Joss Whedon - I'm Yours!

One of my deep dark dirty secrets.

I love Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The show, not the movie.

Not just a little. I have a serious problem with how much I love that show. Looked pretty shallow and silly at first - and by the end of it, I was heartbroken that the show was over.

Also, REALLY love Firefly. Every single episode of that show is pretty close to perfection.

Well, during the writer's strike, Joss Whedon - the creator and one of the writers of those two shows - kept himself busy with a small little project caled Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog. Just a little low-budget 3 episode web show.

The premise is interesting, the songs are beautiful and the last 30 seconds of it literally gave me chills.

Check it out:

www.drhorrible.com

Control Freak

I hate to ask for help.

A little assistance here and there, no problem.  But something I don't know anything about, I am almost certain I am being had.  Which is why my car is going around with the check engine light on, my computer could be running faster, I am just now seeing a chiropractor for the first time in years ...

I think this probably comes from my home life.  My mother is the queen of the passive aggressive bait-and-switch - 'You come see us if you need anything, but be certain that we will hold this over you for years to come.'  I learned to get by without much from them.  Not like I don't love my parents, I just taught myself to distance myself from them.

I was pretty solitary as a kid.  But I would have one person - My Best Friend.  I would attach myself to that person probably to a mildly unhealthy level.  I couldn't trust people - not the kids at school, not strangers in the street, not my parents, but my Best Friend would be there for me!  I could share and open to them and they would understand me, right?  I would be irresistibly drawn to them more than anyone else in the whole world.

Inevitably, this level attachment grew understandably uncomfortable for Best Friend who would move on.  Then - New Best Friend.  And the cycle would repeat.

One would think with age would come some level of wisdom.  I've gotten better about making more casual connections.  Convincing myself that people aren't necessarily out to use me - which they usually are.  But every once in a while, someone insists on prying themselves deep within my shell and they are audience to my pure unadulterated crazy.  This poor soul deal with more than their fair share of my unhappy times.

Thank you for being there.  I've told you more than once you didn't have to and yet you always come back for more when I need you most.